An Enigma, Wrapped in a Warm Tortilla and Dipped in Honey

I've been told by more than one person that I'm " kind of mysterious".  The first time I heard it, I was perplexed. I don't TRY to be mysterious. On a good day, I can barely manage being somewhat interesting, so I'm not quite sure where the aura of mystery comes from, but in the interest of joining the throngs of people who've decided to reveal their entire inner dialogue to strangers on the internet, I've created a blog that will hopefully unravel the so-called mystery of me.

I have a couple of theories. First of all, I have crazy different colored eyes that tend to throw people off balance when they're speaking to me face to face.

               ( Oh those? I had my real eyes replaced with magical hypnosis globes. Now hand over your wallet.)


Most people just tend to think they're " kind of neat". Other not so evolved individuals have accused me of being a witch or demonically possessed, to which I reply, " Well, there WAS this one crazy night with my cousin and a OUIJA board..."

 
                                       
                           ( Christmas Special from Amazon: One free poltergeist if purchased before December 15th!)


So, there's one mystery that I can clear up. I am not, to my knowledge, possessed by any spirits, demonic or otherwise, probably. I am also not a practitioner of witchcraft, Wicca, or anything that involves burning candles or reciting passages of any kind. If I ever danced around a fire naked, it was probably more to do with the side effects of Jack Daniels rather than an attempt to summon some otherworldly entity.

                               
           (Although, you should probably be praying to SOME sort of deity while exposing your crotch to an open flame.)


My second theory is pretty simple; I'm just kinda weird, man. My brain simply does not seem to operate on the same wavelength as most normal people. My mind tends to wander into its own little whimsical realm full of unicorns, elaborate Lego structures, and random movie quotes, and I really like it there. I wish you could all come along.

                                           



                                                                        (The average human brain)


                                     

                  
                                                                                     (My brain)


Thirdly, and probably most importantly, I TRY not to argue my opinion with most people. In a world of Facebook rants about any and everything, I'm over in the corner, like, totally over it. I mean, I DO have some opinions that I feel really strongly about, but for the most part, I just don't care.

 I don't care if you do or don't homeschool or dress your Rottweiler in goofy outfits. I don't care which football team you like, which religion you are, or which team you bat for. I think, for the most part, there's more than one right way to do most anything, and even if I think your particular methods are batshit insane, I'm willing to let you do your thing without my input. Besides, why does anyone give a crap about what I think anyway?



                                                
                                                 (Boris can still totally kick your ass, but he'd much rather be dancing.)